Dear Taylor Swift,

We need to talk.

I want you to know up front that I really tried to find someone else to write to – someone else who could ease my pain, someone else who might not make me feel so bitter. But I am bitter, Taylor – bitter about things you’re probably too young to understand and that you probably, to be fair, are not so much responsible for as you are representative of.

You know where this is going. Yes, it’s the Grammy thing. That performance. You can’t sing. You took home four Grammys . . . . and you can’t sing. There’s a moment in the first chorus of ‘Rhiannon’ where you can see Stevie Nicks is visibly cringing at how flat you are singing. Let me make sure you understand this, because you’re young and this might be lost on you. This is not Stevie WONDER we’re talking about cringing at your performance, but Stevie NICKS, a woman who owes her career to sleeping with a genius guitar freak/audio architect. Because you see, that’s how it was done in the old days and we didn’t necessarily approve of it, but it got us laid, so ok – let the girl who likes to pretend she’s a witch sing a couple of songs. But even she still had to hit the notes.

How can I make you understand?

A long time ago, we had a group called the Beatles. You might have heard of them as they are now a video game. Anyway, we loved them so much that we even liked to hear their drummer, Ringo, sing one song an album, even though he couldn’t really quite hit the notes. But, the thing is Taylor, he was the DRUMMER. And we really loved the Beatles. And everything else they did was so groundbreakingly amazing. And it was only one song an album.

When you don’t hit the notes it’s different, and not in a good way. I know, I know, on your records, it sounds like you CAN hit the notes. But see, we’re sophisticated now and we know it’s auto-tune and that’s not your fault either but I still have to tell you that it’s no fun living in a world where it’s easier to make someone who looks like you do sound good than it is to make someone who sings like I do look good.

Which brings up another point. You know that song of yours? The one where she’s the cheerleader and you’re the unpopular outsider? Well, I’m having a hard time buying into that because – not to dwell on this but, um . . . . LOOK AT YOU. You can feel free to read this next sentence in the voice of Grandpa Simpson, but: In my day, girls who looked liked you WERE the cheerleaders and then, as now, girls who looked like you wound up getting the guy you talk about in that song. And music . . . Music . . . MUSIC . . . well, that was OUR territory – the folks who really were unpopular. You should check out a tune called ‘At Seventeen’ by Janis Ian. Then you should check out Janis Ian. I mean do a Google Images search. See? SHE was in the bleachers wearing a t-shirt, Taylor, not you. Can’t you just be happy being the cheerleader? Do the popular kids have to take over music, too?

But why am I blaming you? The popular kids took over our game a while ago. There was a bit of a back and forth tussle for a while, but there was a moment – it might have been when Kurt put the bullet through his head – that it was over, the cool kids won and popular music (not POP music, but music which is massively popular) became about being popular and not about making music. And it’s not just you – those guys in Franz Ferdinand can’t sing, either. And on and on. And on and on.

So, no – you are not to blame for this world that you find yourself in – a world that has been this way pretty much since you were born. But you were just given four Grammys. There was a time when you kinda had to be able to bring it, really have your craft down and then, if you caught a break or two, maybe you’d win a Grammy. The process is reversed now. You’ve been awarded your Grammys already. I hope you step up, work hard to really become a musician (and, most specifically, a singer – please learn how to sing) and earn them somehow retroactively.

To end on a positive note – I’m not going to tell you that Beyonce made one of the greatest videos of all time.

Musically Yours,
Jim

SxSW Interactive, Film & Music Festival
Every year it seems someone is always questioning the validity of music conferences. And for good reason. Mostly they suck. The music panels especially. A bunch of know-it-alls who live at 30,000 feet and just like to hear the sound of their own voices — seemingly never doling out any practical, useful advice. Sadly, the music panels at SxSW are generally no exception. But now that I’ve started going to the Interactive portion of the festival beforehand, I could care less.

SxSW Interactive, that’s where you actually learn things. And generally, there’s less drinking (then during SxSW Music) which makes for better brainwork. You remember people’s names. Business cards actually find their way into your suitcase. You take notes. You have ideas.

Then, a funny sort of phenomenon starts to happen as the week wears on and Interactive flows into Music (Film is supposed to be the bridge but really, who goes?). Less green vegetables. Less sleep. Longer nights. The hotel staff now knows you by first name. Instead of sitting at panels you’re standing all day shows. But your attention span is shot and your smart phone is blowing up. Plus, your feet hurt.

Fun stuff. But in the end, I’m there to work. Every second of every waking moment, networking my little hiny off with the hopes that some of it will somehow pay forward and help make this crazy ride we’re on stick (even I don’t exactly know what that means but I’m leaving it in). Fingers crossed.

The best part: gazing out at an endless sea of head-bobbing, balding-with-ponytail, over-40 grown-up heads, collectively getting their badass rock ‘n roll groove right on.

Who says we old farts don’t rock? In Austin, we sure as hell do.

That said, here’s to seeing you at our showcase (a production of THE iNSIDERS NETWORK). If you’re in Austin, do drop on by. Those free beers I’m always threatening to buy you guys? Come and get ‘em.

Thursday, March 18, 12 PM-5 PM, 204 E. 6th St. (BD Riley’s)

12:00-12:35 They Were Stars
12:50-1:25 Seth Glier
1:40-2:15 Robert Deeble
2:30-3:05 Michael Miller
3:20-3:55 Steve Poltz
4:10-4:45 Roman Candle

Yeeeeeeehaw.

1. The Silver Seas, Chateau Revenge

So I’ve talked about these guys a billion times and in fact will be featuring almost this entire record on THE DAILY DOSE all next month… it’s that good. This is their third release, the other two are equally brilliant. They had to change their name in the middle of everything which was a slight bummer, they used to be The Bees (US). Either way, I love them. I bet you will too. Daniel Tashian (son of Barry Tashian, of legendary New England garage rockers The Remains) et al.

2. Jets Overhead, No Nations

Canadian outfit, this is their sophomore effort. It took little while to grow on me (I love that) and then I found myself turning it louder and louder. Kind of an updated Human League sort of vibe. That doesn’t make it sound cool, I know — but it is.

3. The Beatles, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

Inspired by a hands-down brilliant presentation OUTLANDOS cofounder Scott Freiman has been giving out and about (so good we’ve seen it twice!), we had a good solid listen to the entire thing the other night on the couch. It’s important to do that I think, to go back, to give something your full attention again (even if it’s the millionth time).

xo

Sorry Bob, your interesting and semi-relevant posts, which make up about a fourth of all your ramblings just aren’t worth the other three-fourths in which you do nothing but remind us what a complete and utter asshole you really are.

The Who were not great. But your overstatement is just one more example of you trying to be bold and brash by overstating something and just being downright nasty. At some point, at your age, one would think you would have grown up and realized when you’re just being an ass.

Let me see if I can put it another way…..if you were Roger Daltrey (and thank God you are not) you would have sang “Who the FUCK are you?” just to somehow prove you were still hip and relevant. (Which by the way, you are not.)

I am unsubscribing because I need to spend my time reading someone with something interesting to say–somebody with something to prove who does more thanjust BITCH, BITCH, BITCH. You’ve become a a grumpy old man who is just downright depressing.

Adios,
Shaun Takarta
PS–It’s eleven fucking minutes you twit, and you wanted what? Three new Who songs?
PPS–Nice use of the word “tit.” You are so naughty and thus cool! What a groundbreaker you are.

Shaun, wherever/whoever you are, it takes balls to write a rant like that to an industry mainstay like Bob. Props. More importantly, you bring up the question I think about often:

When you’ve got Lefsetz’s kind of power (the kind that millions of people subscribe to) do you also have an obligation to somehow push the universe forward? To be… well… helpful? To lead? Or at least try? Be it blogs, radio, onstage at a gig — whatever your platform?

Yes.

And yes, we are touchy-feely here at OUTLANDOS HQ. But also doing our damnedest.

Dear Young Songwriter Who Wrote Me on MySpace or Facebook and asked for advice:

I have so much to tell you but I should probably distill it down to the basics. This is what I would tell any young artist or student who stands in front of me wondering what to do in this massive and confusing world of art and commerce.

Basically, I can explain it in three chunks:

1. Read and listen to everything that came before now. Films too.

2. Leave home. Travel.

3. Bring something new to the tradition of your craft.

I would have to advise you to read and listen to anything you can get your hands and ears on.

Poetry: you should read it every day. Short stories, novels, all the classics. Get to it.

With music, you are going to have to step out of your comfort zone and visit the sounds and songs of those that came before the songwriters you are listening to now. Go back to the beginnings of your favorite genre. All of the greats studied the greats before them. If you are an American musician, you are doing yourself a dishonor by not listening to and studying the first American musicians who gave us jazz and the blues and the folk music that teaches you the chords and stories you need to know. There is a foundation there that is absolutely necessary if you wish you be a part of the constantly evolving family of musicians and artists, rather than the disposable, flavor of the month variety.

In North America, our “classical” music is jazz. Through serious suffering and eventual liberation came the blues. Finally, we were very fortunate to be the birthplace of rock and roll (disco, hip hop, etc.) and although we’ve had to have its message of ass shaking freedom re-explained to us time and time again by different generations from both sides of the pond, you won’t find any of the long term successful people in these musical genres that didn’t go back and study the greats that came before them.

You want to learn to write good songs? Then learn how to play the great songs of history. You like The Beatles? Learn Motown, Buddy Holly, and Cole Porter. Learn McCartney’s bass lines. You like M. Ward? Go listen to Roy Orbison or Louis Armstrong, Hoagy Carmichael, or Elmore James.

If you listened to every Kinks album and then every Sonic Youth album in a row you will have accomplished a few days of well spent research.

Woody Guthrie, Mississippi John Hurt, Robert Johnson, Doc Watson, Blind Willie McTell…they all have stories to tell, more down and dirty than any Stones tune. Learning songs by them will enable you to tell your own stories.

Go to the library and get all this education for free. You can sign up for a card and cruise your library’s collection on your computer, ordering books, films, and CDs to be picked up at your local branch. World music, classical music, avant-garde or modern sonic explorations, Mongolian throat singing: it’s all there waiting for you. While you are at it learn the names of some constellations, trees, and plants.

To me, it’s painfully obvious when a band or writer hasn’t bothered to listen to any albums that came before, say, Nirvana. Rock and roll and popular music/culture in general is more or less a young man/woman’s game-as far as music business goes-but as a lifestyle it can be permanent if you wish. Great art, or the individual expression of those trailblazers that came before can truly charge your creative batteries and help you grow as a person to embrace doing things just a little different from the status quo. You can find temporary happiness with what is current or you can go back in time and stand on the shoulders of the giants of storytelling, and therefore continue on in the tradition of learning and then creating something new out of your own experiences.

This leads me to my second point which is that you simply have to hit the road. I don’t care if you live in NYC or Nashville or LA (which is where you will most likely end up if you actually want to do something about a “career” in entertainment), if you are a young man/woman then you need to see another world besides the one you are accustomed to. Sitting around a coffee shop and talking about all the different things you want to do isn’t going to accomplish anything. If all North Americans could visit other nations, then we would have a more enriched culture and a better understanding of the world, and therefore be an even better country ourselves.

Go to Europe. Take your guitar. Hitch hike. Play on the streets. Meet some other travelers. Share a bottle of wine beside a famous river. Get laid. Fall in love. Get your heart broken. You don’t have to live life the way you have been taught you should, unless you would like to end up working in a cubicle.

Returning to your home town art scene isn’t a crime either. Enliven or participate in your community’s art and music scene by providing couches for those traveling musicians and artists who are on their way through. Throw house concerts. Form a musicians co-op and record company for you and your friend’s bands. Start a ‘zine, or participate in one that is already on the move.

Lastly, and this will most likely happen through experience, but you must bring something new to your craft. If it is songwriting, then add your own life experience to it. Whatever made you the unique individual you are today, put it inside your art.

There are some things I would like to point out that might assist you in achieving some of these goals, and though I didn’t say it before, you should indeed make some goals, and wake up every day and do something towards achieving them. Think it, believe it, do it.

— Tim

P.S. Did I mention that you should practice your instrument every day? Or write in your journal…or write down some of your dreams…or carry a pen and small pad with you at all times? I guess that is just too obvious.

P.S.S.How much time every day do you think Connor Oberst or Jack White or Jeff Tweedy or Chan Marshall or any songwriter/musician/artist you admire spends fucking around on MySpace or Facebook?

Exactly. Now start making plans to hit the road.