“Love this email! Do you have a career in copywriting going on the side? I’m impressed and totally stealing ideas for more interesting communication to my clients!”

As you can imagine, BIG smile on my face, because, in fact… I DO have a copywriting operation going of sorts. Not on the side… as the main gig!

In case any of you have been wondering where the hell I’ve been. Outlandos Music became Outlandos Media. Not that music still isn’t a part of my life, just not so much part of my business anymore. If you miss me, you can still find me dabbling in music on THE DAILY DOSe. Otherwise, I’ll be out there continuing to “ghost-write” for various social media clients, dreaming up clever emails, marketing strategies, etc. like the one that email refers to, below:

(Me, as VP of Marketting for promonent indie music mag)

SUBJECT:  in stores, on shelves… call us old-fashioned

Hey kids. By now, you’re used to me harassing you on a fairly regular basis. And I wanted to say how wonderful it is working with all of you. We really appreciate your business.

More importantly, we get that it’s a two-way street. We survive because you survive. And we like to think, vice versa. So if you haven’t received the superduper BLURT make-it-work-for-you sales treatment, you my friend, are missing out. Because that’s what we do around here. We make it work for you. We care about this business. And it takes all of us working together to keep it going. So thanks to all of you who do exactly that.

Speaking of… yet another BLURT Magazine makes its way to fine shelves everywhere March 29. The uncompromising PJ Harvey graces its cover, and in a revealing interview, discusses the historical obsessions that helped inspire her curiously titled latest album, “Let England Shake.” It’s our 10th issue! A milestone of sorts.

Thanks again to all of you who made it happen. If you’re not on our mailing list and would like a copy, please just ask. Even better… buy one. Either way, we look forward to gracing the bottom of your briefcase, the shelf in your bathroom or your beer stained coffee table.

FYI our next issue will be out this fall, see attached for details.

And if you happen to be in Austin right now… jingle up my man Stephen and buy his ass a beer: 919-619-2287.

We Knew The Bride When She Used To Rock ‘n’ Roll (still does…)

To every thing, there is a season, especially at BLURT, and this fall it appears that the season is for nuptials. Specifically, our very own Kate Bradley, who heads up our advertising department (both online and print – record labels, get in touch), and who recently took a walk off the gangplank, er, down the aisle. The event took place October 8 at Ric Orlando’s New World restaurant/venue up in Saugerties, NY — if the name Ric Orlando rings a bell, he’s a winning chef recently featured on the Food Network show Chopped. The wedding march song was Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’,” of course, and the guitar solo was performed by the groom, David Chernis, accompanied by his band the Bloodletters. “Rock ‘n’ roll serenade,” Kate tells us, with no hint of irony.

As you can see from the two photos here, the erstwhile Ms. Bradley was in fine form, belting out her vows like the veteran obsessive-compulsive karaoke contestant that she is. Also on hand to rock the bells was her father, apparently intent on doing more than just giving away the bride – some serious shred action going on there, yo. Hey pops, we hear that Mick and Keith are on the outs and that Mick’s shopping around for a new stage foil – do you know the chords to “Start Me Up”?

All of us at BLURT would like to wish the new Kate Bradley Chernis and her betrothed a long, prosperous, and altogether decadent life together. Sorry boys, this filly’s officially done taken now.

Dear Mr. T,

Not you “pity the fool”, super-badass, A-Team Mr. T…. I’m talking to the other Mr. T… .Mr. Townsend, my music teacher from Barnard Elementary. Not that you weren’t a bad-ass in your own right; you were equally as scary as the guy that beat up Rocky.

I know it was 1983 and you’ve heard plenty of struggling voices since then but maybe you’ll remember me. I was the kid in your choir with the chili-bowl haircut, who you liked to refer to as “a lost gosling in the high weeds.” I think that was a reference to the way I would streeeeeeetch my neck, trying to find my voice. The notes often escaped me and I thought that if I craned my head out, as high as possible, I might reach those notes, find my way out of the weeds, and maybe you wouldn’t tell me how I looked like a baby goose in front of twenty other 4th graders.

Music was the only class I struggled with back then. I could add things up, run a mile (I think I was pretty fast), write poems, even make an almost bowl-shaped ceramic bowl in art… but I think I gave up on looking for those notes for a while. In middle school, I wanted nothing to do with playing music. I want you know though, I didn’t give up completely. I always listened and when I was ready, I learned to play the guitar and went on to study music theory in high school. Finding my voice was the toughest part though. I’m still doing it. At some point, I started listening to Chet Baker’s vocal albums (Chet Baker Sings), which I think showed me that everybody has a voice and sometimes the quiet ones can hit you as hard as the bellowing ones that I was stretching my 4th grade neck out, but never quite reached.

So now, I’ve got a quiet voice and I recorded some things with it. If you look on iTunes this Tuesday, you can find me. I play under the name Mission to the Sea and will be releasing an album, called Tranquilo. If you listen to it, maybe you’ll hear nods to Chet, possibly Joao and Astrud (Gilberto), mixed with hints of Feist and The Sea and Cake (not sure if you’ve heard of them, but you should check them out too). Anyway, I just wanted to give you a heads up. HA! Baby goose … heads up … nevermind….

Decker Sachse
Mission to the Sea

Tranquilo is the first full length album by Mission to the Sea. You can get it on iTunes or here.

Two things that make this great:

1. The photo, below, of Steve playing with said broken hand at my 2010 SXSW showcase.

2. “And also with you.”

To: Bob Lefsetz
From: Steve Poltz

Wow! You sure get a lot of action at your blog. Nice work creating a community.

I love playing at The Blue Door in Okc. One of my favorite rooms anywhere on the planet. I either go out for Oklahoma BBQ or Vietnamese Pho with Greg Johnson. We talk baseball and politics and music. He loves his Orioles. I look forward to my next gig there.

I’m pretty lucky. I’ve got friends all over the world who own music venues.  I work 200 plus dates a year. It only comes from repetitive touring and  giving 100% each night even if you’re sick with the flu or have a broken hand. Meeting the people after every show and playing heaps of house concerts. It’s not glamorous but it works.  I travel with only one guy – Chris Modl, who records every show and we sell that show 15 minutes after the gig ends on CDs or 2 gig thumb drives.

I love my job. I’m like a traveling salesman. If I play a good show then people usually buy my wares. T-shirts etc.  If I suck then I have no one to blame but me. I have no mgmt and only my own label 98 pounder records.  I LOVE my booking agent Roggie out of Austin at Rajiworld. She has a great understanding of what I do.  I have different agents I love in Australia and my homeland of Canada as well.

People who come to my shows aren’t coming because I co wrote a hit song with Jewel. They’re coming because there’s a trust factor involved.  That’s why your letter speaks to me. It’s a great time to be a musician. There’s a revolution happening!

And you know it Mr Jones!

Peace be with you… And also with you.

From Istanbul,
Steve Poltz

Dear (Insert Financial Institution of Choice Here),

I realize you have been trying to contact me lately. I apologize for the delay. I believe you were attempting to reach me concerning some checks that may have been “underfunded.” I have every intention of covering these. In fact, I am sure this account will be taken care of soon, as I am patiently waiting for a few things to come through.

You must be aware I am an artist. Surely you’ve heard me on Non-Comm radio or seen me on local TV. Maybe even in the regional papers or on YouTube. Is it possible we may even be Facebook friends? Of course you must feel secure, knowing the full scope of my career, that the money is about to roll in any day now.

To ease your mind, I thought I would offer just a few examples of the money streams my music has been generating for me. For instance, MUSIC REPORTS Inc. has sent me countless letters informing me that my songs have been licensed by a litany of music service providers. I am under the impression that alone should be good for about twelve cents per song x… about 40 or so…well… I’ve never been great at math, as you know.

I have also received a multitude of personalized offers through MySpace by several agencies to “…directly place my music into the hands of programmers, music supervisors and producers” who are eager to use some of my original songs in their upcoming films and commercials.

Because, of course, everyone knows the only way to achieve commercial success, get noticed and heard is through advertisement sound tracks. Even my mother says “that’s how to get your career off the ground these days! You gotta get your songs in a commercial!” I’m positive that shortly after cashing my check for “a one time service fee of only $400” we’ll be splitting those 50/50 royalty deals like gangsters. After all, the going sync rate for an indie artist in a film or commercial is like $250!! As soon as I land even a hundred of those contracts, I’ll buy a small house and future financial security will be mine.

You’ll be glad to know I have been very productive. I have put out 7 or 8 critically received records over the last 15 or so years. A while ago I even had a (minor) major label deal. Funny thing is, the day after we had a festive signing party in a local bar, I was told I wouldn’t really see any money from it because we needed it for the producer and mixing and marketing and that if I needed to make some quick cash, the record companies brand new recording studio needed painted and I was welcome to come in and roll high gloss for $10/hour for a couple weeks. After all, Urge Overkill was coming in soon and they wanted it to be just right!

My other projects were completed with the help of some great, small indie labels. Some I have done on my own with the help of talented and generous friends or business partners who I have made private deals with, to, of course, return their money first, off the top, as the sales cash comes in. As we speak, I’ve just recently about $4,000 (frugal by any standards) to produce, record and package my latest record. Everyone says it’s “my best yet!” At each gig I sell about maybe 10-15 copies for $10 each. Which, by the way, is about 10-15% of those in attendance. I used to be able to sell them for $15 but that whole iTunes thing kinda lowered the market value of hard copy cd’s too. Thankfully, some people still like to see some nice art inside or a recent picture of me where only my sideburns are going gray. Most of them don’t have satellite radio or digital players in their cars yet either so they still like to have something to shove in the ‘ole slot.
Anyway, at that rate as soon as I play about 40 shows, I will have paid my loan back and will reap 70% of all the future sales. On gigs alone, with the exception of New York and LA, I make at least $50 after splitting up the money. Sometimes it’s as good as a couple $100! So, you can see, you really needn’t worry. I will be rolling in the dough in no time at all.

On some solid advice I realized how merchandise sales can offer a huge well of money-making possibilities. Recently, in order to capitalize on this and save money in the process, I had shirts designed by a friend. I had a great idea for a graphic design. He sort-of-almost got it right and it will look fine on the Beefy T’s I can afford to buy in advance instead of the cool, nice feeling American Apparel shirts. And as soon as I give away one to each of my band mates, all of the sound engineers we work with, the people at my management agency, the club owners, my niece and my sister, I will be pulling in probably a dollar a piece! I did it a couple of times before and it worked out great. Mostly for the untold marketing value I received from all of the people who saw my shirts in the Salvation Army Thrift store racks. I can over hear them now…”Wow, great shirt. That guy should be famous!” I should make a note to speak with them about my commission btw.

I should mention I applied for and received a privately funded grant this year. It helped me to live a short while as I worked regularly passionately with low-income kids to help them to realize a future career as musical artists as well. I think the government taxed it pretty hard which was a surprise. But you know how no good deed goes unpunished.

So, just so you know, I have been working hard at this thing for a long time now. I put thousands of hours of into it and thousands of dollars too. I realize it’s MY dream and MY life, not yours, so I’m not really bitching. I have had more fun doing this than anyone deserves, made great friends, and most importantly grown consistently as an artist and musician. I will be covering those checks ASAP and repaying any institution or person who may have helped to support my life long ego trip (as some “family friend” genuinely referred to it, thanks for your support). But, please understand that not only is it ridiculously hard work to do this with any real commitment, in solvency, with no family trust fund or early 90’s era mega-record-Clive Davis-loves-your-act-label-deal. But, to keep pride intact, to keep the car that takes me to gigs on the road, the roof over head where I write and create and rehearse and the food to keep me alive to do all of the above… about 10 years ago I realized something needed to change in order to balance it all out. I have even been surprised by the great inspiration I get in return, the few less bounced checks, the humility and the desire to make the most of every hour in every single day……you’ll be glad to know, I GOT A JOB.

Thanks for your time, patience and continued support of my career.

I’m sure we’ll see each other in the clubs. Hopefully next time I’ll be signing your CD, not another bad check.

Sincerely,

Ben Arnold
http://www.benarnoldmusic.com/