I didn’t even watch the Grammys this year. I thought, screw it; worst case scenario, YouTube will fill me in.

By all accounts, lackluster bravado reigned. A boring, flesh-filled parade of uninspired, flash and pomp, “music’s biggest night” proved once again, irrelevant. I didn’t miss a thing.

But when songs from Atonement and Once were announced as Oscar-contenders this year, it was a different story. Apparently, Hollywood has taste.

Maybe the overwhelming lack of Grammy integrity is because there’s just so many freaking awards… roughly 400 (versus Oscars’ 30+/-). I mean, what’s the point of making varsity if virtually everyone gets a letter?

More likely, it’s simply the idea that great music has nothing on fame, i.e., record sales.  According to the NARAS, however, it’s all about “artistic achievement… without regard to album sales or chart position.” Um, bullshit.

Seriously, does Maroon 5 qualify as art? Nickelback? Michael Bubl©? Christina? Fergie? Not in my book.

Amy Winehouse?  Au contraire. However (and here’s an unpopular idea), even though I like it, her music just isn’t timeless; it’s not the Second Coming. And if receiving a Grammy actually held any weight, I’m not convinced she deserved 3.

The point is, as poignantly underscored by Glen Hansard (”Make art!”): when it comes to measuring musical artistic achievement against the merits of belly buttons and rehab stints, Oscar triumphs.

Dario Marianelli’s clever casting of Atonement’s typewriter in its sonic supporting role was the sneakiest of artistic brilliance. Throughout the score, its crushing power is magnified again and again, a constant reminder of all that was lost; the incessant click-clicking an indelible ananmesis to our ears; our connection to the screen musically forged.

In Once, music’s conspicuous role as lead character acts as our constant cue to both the unfolding plot and the evolving relationship between “Girl” and “Boy.  The on-screen collaboration of “Falling Slowly” not only translates their faith in each other and the music itself but also allows us the voyeuristic thrill of witnessing artistic creation in progress.  Warm, fuzzy, cool, captivating, and to some degree, real.  As Marketa Irglova put it: “this song was written from the perspective of hope, and hope at the end of the day connects us all.”  Exactly.

So, despite the fashionista frenzy, the paparazzi glitz, the ad nauseam acceptance speeches, and this year’s more-awkward-than-usual teleprompter delivery, the truth is, I trust the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. 9 times out of 10, “Academy Award-Winning” generally translates into “worth my time.” “Grammy Award-Winning,” not so much.

© Outlandos Music^TM2008

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The concept is appealing: to provide “an uplifting experience that enriches people’s lives one moment, one human being, one extraordinary cup of coffee at a time.” Toss in a “new and convenient way for you to discover, experience and acquire great music,” and you’ve basically bottled, or in this case “mugged” the modern-day holy grail; a self-affirming, musically caffeinated elixir — for just $4 a pop.

Only, it’s a bit of a Grande-mess. On the coffee end, Schultz is apparently on it. “Small” or “Tall?” Whatever. I just want my frothy vanilla latte© and I want someone else to make it.

But as far as Cinnamon Dolce Cappuccino-accompanying soundtracks go, I’m utterly confused.  Feist or Kenny G.? Uffa!

Let me get this straight, the “Sound of Starbucks” is currently defined by “speaking the language of love without saying a word?” Cue caramel-drizzled vomit now.

Additionally puzzling was the whole XM debacle. Initially, you already had two fairly successful Adult Album Alternative channels, XM Cafe© and The Loft. The obvious, ready-made choice would’ve been to co-brand XM Cafe©. Instead, Starbucks created Hear Music — mimicking XM Cafe© both in format and near-identical playlists — and, despite having had access to some of the top music experts in the country, programmed it themselves.

Stranger still, Hear Music, the XM channel, didn’t air in-store… instead, some other pre-programmed jukebox got brick-and-mortar sipping status, occasionally directing you to listen to XM, if you liked what you heard.

Not surprisingly, the channel tanked. Buh-bye Hear Music. Hello Starbucks XM Cafe© (formerly just XM Cafe©). Duh. And too late.

Good riddance. Even I was having trouble keeping the channels straight.

Now, it’s Hear Music the record label, “the next step in [Starbucks’] (all-over-the-map) entertainment strategy.” Plus iTunes, which brought about Song of the Day and Now Playing.

Don’t get me wrong, those things make sense. If the goal is for Starbucks to be a music powerhouse, then bene. But at this point, the overall music brand is one heck of a blended Frappuccinic blur: from Radiohead to Gloria Estefan?  Not exactly the kind of go-to, reliable resource those of us with discerning tastes require.

If Starbucks Entertainment’s mission is to “transform the way music is discovered and acquired and help both established and emerging artists reach the widest audience possible,” then focusing on said audience, those “typically middle-aged late-adopters rather than younger music fans,” a.k.a. adults, is key.

Hopefully, Howard Schultz’s promise of “reigniting our emotional attachment with our customers” will include Starbucks embracing the idea that coffee-toting grown-ups place a high value on taste — be it epicurean or aural — as well as on the curator behind it.

In short, while some of us may be willing to tolerate “Venti” over “Large,” when it comes to our music, we don’t like to be jerked around.

So, if the $4 you spent today felt elixir-skinny, let me suggest a temporary fix: the New Amsterdams’ Fountain of Youth. Worth every penny.

© Outlandos Music^TM2008

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At the risk of committing watercooler-suicide, the truth is, I hate football. But that didn’t stop me from joining 97.5 million Super Bowl XLII viewers in feverish anticipation. 

There is, after all, something fascinating about hitching your identity onto the fate of 11 virtual strangers, thereby declaring their actions as somehow an extension of yours. It’s as if by association, for those few hours, you too are “super.”

And allegiance is everything. Giants? Patriots? Either way, you’re making a “super” statement. “I don’t know” is not an option.

So when asked the obligatory: “who are you rooting for?”  My answer was easy: Tom Petty.

Dude.

IT WAS SO FREAKING AWESOME!!!

Undeterred by the slew of on-screen nubiles who’d stormed the stage, I too had my rock horns up and out for the entire, truly super 12+ minutes. Right there in the living room. I’m not kidding.

The spectacularly gianormous, neon heart/flying v logo… the Guitar Hero-esque lighted backdrop… the Free Fallin’ fireworks… Tom’s schoolboy grins… Jesus.

“Runnin’ Down a Dream” blew the freaking roof off.

Mike Campbell was on fire! 

Post-show, delirious music-high still pumping, I went straight to the Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers website. I wasn’t alone… the site was so jammed with hits, you couldn’t get on.

They connected.

Now that’s shared experience for you.  Supersized.

And then, on the eve of Super Tuesday, like so many others, I was torn between two candidates. Somehow, “I don’t know” became a perfectly viable option. Until I saw this. 

At first, I merely read the subject line and dismissed it as yet another thing to fuel my indecision. It sat in my inbox for days. The Black Eyed Peas? Oy. That wasn’t helping.

Finally, I opened it. And it hit me.  Shared experience. Politics aside, it was truly a magical thing to witness the power of contagious emotion communicated by music — in action. The choice was clear: yes we can.

Suddenly, I felt super-connected.

Which brings us to the holiday at hand.

Someone once quipped that Valentine’s Day is sort of like the Super Bowl for women, what with all the hype, the anticipation, etc. Maybe. But whether you are pro or con, the desire to feel connected, to feel loved, to feel, essentially, “super” is universal. And while chocolate and flowers can’t hurt, nothing conveys emotion quite like music.

Hence, my valentine to you is a Bowie cover I’ve recently fallen in love with: “Modern Love” by The Last Town Chorus. Not exactly a love song in the romantic sense but nonetheless, stunningly superb.

xo

© Outlandos Music^TM2008

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Dear Paul,

Don’t you get it? Music is meant to be shared. Not a new concept but apparently, a forgotten one.

Let’s examine the basics. Acclaimed neuroscientist Daniel Levitin writes that “the goal of the… musical composition is [to convey] an aspect of universal truth that if successful, will continue to move and to touch people even as contexts, societies, and cultures change.”

Translation: great music is not only transcendent but highly emotional and, as I’ve mentioned before, is much more than just something that goes on between your ears.

Remember hearing, for the first time, a mind-blower-of-a-song and then… that mad, feverish rush to play it for someone else — subpar, recorded-off-the-radio-onto-cassette-sound-quality be-damned?

Remember emphatically dragging a pal out to see a band that they’d never heard of before — in a dank and dirty little club neither of you would normally set foot in — undeterred by the fetid smells and the sparse (at best) turnout?

What you wanted was for that music to make someone else feel the same way it made you feel.

It’s all about the shared experience.

When Mr. Guinness says, “… it’s about the whole relationship between the music and the technology business” and “access” and “ownership,” I say: um, no Paul, it’s about the relationship between the music and the fan (a.k.a. “the thief,” in your words).

It’s about maximizing the shared experience between fans and fans and artists and fans.

It’s about creating contagious emotion; the kind of emotion that people are willing to pay for.

And in your case Paul, at the moment, it’s about embracing the technology.  Kind of like that “Vertigo” iPod commercial which made nearly everyone feel impossibly cool/sexy/hip just watching it? Talk about contagious.

Which makes me wonder why on earth Mr. Guinness would even ask, “Shouldn’t we be catering to people who want to hear music through big speakers rather than earbuds?” Maybe… audiophiles are always a worthwhile target… but dissing the iPod?  Is he OUT OF HIS MIND? Those little white earbuds were largely responsible for U2’s success with what was widely critiqued as not their best effort.

Anyways.  Earbuds, schmearbuds.  The point is that at the very root of things, it’s not about the speakers, it’s not about the ISPs, and it’s not even about the money… it’s all about HOW FANS CONNECT WITH THE MUSIC itself and, consequently, the talent behind it.

Hell, even Bono gets this, seemingly contradicting Mr. Guinness by proclaiming, “I’ve not been famously profit-oriented…. I believe… that brilliance rings a better bottom line. Always.”

Absolutely. And, while we certainly can’t ignore profit, the inherent bottom line is brilliant talent.  Brilliant talent connects.  Connection is power.  Power begets profit.

So Paul, I’m thinking that as the tables have turned, the more prudent thing is to call upon that very powerful talent.  Here goes.

Calling all artists…

It’s up to you to harness the power of your music and to evoke emotion among your fans.

It’s up to you to create brilliant, transcendent, relatable, emotional songs and to then think of the imminent death of the music industry as a little gift: it’s a new world where one-on-one connection is everything and middlemen are virtually obsolete.

Because the truth is, you no longer need a label-driven machine behind you to get your music heard and, more importantly, sold. The key is to remember, first and foremost, that you are, inherently, the CEO of your own business, the business of your music.

It’s up to you to protect yourself from the “shoddy, careless, and downright dishonest” treatment of musicians that Mr. Guinness (misguidedly accusing the “digital age”) points out; the very treatment which, ironically, seems to sum up the music industry’s historical MO — an MO that, in spite of all the buzz of a new paradigm, 360 deals, etc. — remains constant.

With love,

A Fan

PS If you happen to have a manager who doesn’t get this, I suggest firing them.

© Outlandos Music^TM2008

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