Who knew that when I moved to Saugerties, New York (think Big Pink) a few years ago that my next-door neighbor would be founding psychedelic art legend Isaac Abrams?

Far out.

And miraculously, close by. Just in the converted antique auction house loft adjacent to ours. Yes, I’ve borrowed sugar. Not only are Isaac’s paintings stunningly visceral but the “mysterious everflowing workings of [his] mind” (his description) have yielded many a lingering front porch discussion.

Hence, perhaps my favorite:

The Seven Characteristics of Humanity*

KB: Isaac, what was that list again you made up, the Noodles, the Bummers, etc.?
IA: Noodles, Nurdles, Flukes, Flunkies, Hummers, Bummers, and Banana Brains.
KB: (Laughter) right. Can you run through them?
IA:     
NOODLES: Top-flight mind, complex and fun (Albert Einstein, Stephen Wright).
NURDLES: The dark side of the Noodle, a curdled Noodle, a Noodle gone bad (Richard Nixon).
FLUKES: Rarities, extremely unusual.
FLUNKIES: Someone who attaches themselves onto the ideology of a Noodle or Nurdle or Bummer (a good thing, say if you are Henry Kissinger, for example, but a bad thing for obvious other reasons).
HUMMERS: Mindlessly repeating whatever they’ve heard (Hari Krishna, Nazi).
BUMMERS: Create problems (Adolf Hitler was a MAXIMUM Bummer, for example).
BANANA BRAINS: Appear to be something they’re not (perhaps a fake, perhaps a wolf in sheep’s clothing, perhaps seemingly shy but really a spitfire).
KB: So give me some more examples, of famous people.
IA: Henry Kissinger: Noodle, Fluke, Flunky, Bummer. Pat Robinson: Nurdle, Fluke, Bummer — with strong Hummer tendencies. George Bush: Nurdle, Fluke, Bummer, Flunky.
KB: Okay (laughing). On that note, how about the nominees?
IA: Obama: Noodle, Fluke. Joe Biden: Noodle, Fluke, Flunky. McCain: Fluke, Bummer. Sarah Palin: Nurdle, Bummer, Hummer, Fluke, Flunky — a FIVER!
KB: Totally (more laughing). What about musicians?
IA: Madonna: Noodle, Fluke. Barry Manilow: Fluke, Banana Brain. Neil Diamond: Noodle, Nurdle, Fluke, Flunky. The order is important by the way!
KB: How about Mick Jagger?
IA: Noodle, Fluke.
KB: Eric Clapton… but before he found Jesus, B.C., as it were?
IA: Fluke, Bummer.
KB: Post-Jesus?
IA: Fluke, Hummer, Banana Brain. Then there’s Van Morrison: Noodle, Fluke — professionally, an amazing songwriter — Nurdle, Bummer personally, a Bummer because well, he’s kind of a prick.
KB: (Laughter). And me?
IA: Noodle, Fluke, perhaps even a new category — I mean this in all sincerity — you’d like to be a Flunky but don’t know who to Flunk to.
KB: And you?
IA: Noodle, Fluke.

Indeed.

*according to Isaac Abrams, occasionally loosely paraphrased, mostly directly quoted.